No One is Alone

About three months ago, I began to share my story online with the intent to build a following for the launch of my book. When I made the decision to open up about the things I had experienced, I did so knowing I would be opening myself to the critiques and opinions of others. While I had prepared for this as much as I could, I don’t think I ever could have been fully ready for what came next. 

As I discuss in my book, I had spent many years believing that I had caused the progression of my relationship with my teacher. I had a crush. I pushed at boundaries to get closer. I was not only accepting but grateful to be receiving his attention. I was 19–a legal adult. It took a lot of difficult, tedious work to convince myself of the truth. Even being healed as I am now, these thoughts will always linger. 

So, when the comments began to tell me that I am a “fake” victim, that my story is “attention bait,” and that I am trying to “ruin a man’s life because he asked me out when I was a grown woman,” it was difficult not to be pulled back to that space. 

While those voices were very loud and public, there was a much more important collection of conversations happening in the background. In my private messages, to be exact. Women from around the world were sending me confirmation of something I had begun to believe but not yet understood–that I was not alone. 

Our stories were all unique, yet they shared similar themes. The most similar being our feelings. I found that many women felt sympathy for the man in their story, which is something I had been ashamed to admit previously. They, too, had found themselves desiring to protect them. The world expects women like us to be vindictive, but in reality, we are grieving. We lost someone important to us in the process of healing. It is not easy to accept that the most influential person of your youth was also a source of harm.

The more I spoke with the other women, the more sure I became that this conversation needs to be had. My story is only a starting point. I am far from alone in what happened to me. I believe that each story holds secrets that need to be exposed. For the sake of our children, we need to explore the dynamics between people in positions of power and those who are under their influence. We need to take the time to reflect on the behaviors that are most often ignored to understand how we can be more vigilant. As teachers, we need to address the fine lines that can have a greater impact on young minds than we might realize in our maturity. 

In order to facilitate this, I am going to be sharing stories of survivors. Each week for the next few weeks, this newsletter will be used to share a story of someone who has experienced a relationship built within a power differential. We will highlight the development of that relationship, as well as the lasting effects on the survivor. I hope that we can inspire meaningful conversations about grooming and provide the tools needed to distinguish safe and unsafe behaviors from educators or those in power. 

If you have a story to share, please reach out to me. I would love to connect, whether to share your story in my newsletter or to simply share with each other. 

“Things will come out right now. We can make it so. Someone is on your side—no one is alone.”

~Into the Woods

With love, 

Mary Beth